Filthy Dirty!

We have only had the house for a couple of weeks, but I really needed the bank holiday weekend! Jon, unsurprisingly, was reluctant to be away for so long (we were spending Fri to Tues at an old family friend’s place in Suffolk) as the work on the house was looming over us.

But I successfully guilt-tripped him into joining and we had an amazing time drinking, walking on the heath, swimming in the creek and competing in the Walberswick Summer Fete. His one condition was that we visit a tile shop on the Sunday though. Before this, I had never spared a thought for tiles. Now I am spending hours scrolling through Pinterest and bathroom websites trying to find that perfect colour and texture, all for under £15/square metre! I was talking about this with my friend Cherry the other day, how not long ago our chats revolved around alcohol, going out and blokes, and now we were exchanging grouting tips – times have changed!

On the Tuesday, Jon was keen to make an early start to maximise house time, so we waved our goodbyes. Driving from Suffolk back to Bristol on a good day takes around 4 hours. On an extremely bad day, which this turned out to be due to 3 crashes on the M25, it can take more like 7! Adding insult to injury, it was one of the hottest days of the year and my old Hyundai does not have air con. Happy travels!

I was inwardly hoping that after 7 hours on the road, Jon might utter the beautiful words ‘let’s not work on the house after all’. But, no such luck. Today we were going to be working on the bathroom.

On arrival, Jon handed me a dust mask, which I found quite entertaining. Three hours later and 20 rubble bags down, I wasn’t finding anything entertaining. It was horrible work. Jon removed the toilet, sink and shower from the bathroom and then proceeded to rip out the wall tiles. Underneath was ‘lath and plaster’ - thin strips of wood nailed across the wall studs, coated with plaster. Apparently this was the norm back in the day, but it made me very aware of just how flammable old houses are – it looked just like kindling!

Clouds of dust

Luckily Jon has an amazing tool to strip it out, but the dust it created was insane. Within minutes our faces were black and our hair grey. My job was to separate the tiles from the rubble and bag everything up. It was dusty, sweaty, tiring work. We went round opening all the windows to get some ventilation and I was in the back bedroom when I heard Jon yell. As he had been opening the small top window in the cupboard it had just fallen out onto the ground below! Luckily the glass didn’t smash, but it was a bit of an eye-opener.

Jon lugged all the rubble sacks downstairs (I have a bad back – honest!) ready for multiple tip runs this weekend, and we gathered all the ‘kindling’ into the van for another bonfire at Dad’s. Was so so nice to go home and have a shower.

Tomorrow we will be doing the same again in the back bedroom. URGH!

To top everything off, when we got back to the barn, we found our third (and please please please let it be the the last) shocking discovery.

Just before getting into bed I went to close the curtains and a swarm of flies flew out into my face and took off round the room. When I started to look, I realised they were everywhere, I just hadn’t noticed when I came in. Some were slow and huge, bulbous looking, that obviously had feasted well, others were speedy and athletic looking. Jon got fully on board, found a fly swat and started dancing round the room swiping at the evasive insects, leaving dazed or squished bodies in his wake. I took on the role of carcass remover, following him round with the hoover.

This went on for nearly an hour. Every time we thought we had killed them all, another one would buzz lazily past our faces. We tried to think where on earth they had come from, as there must be a source. It hit us in horror at the same moment. When we first moved in we had heard a noise coming from the log burner. I thought maybe a bird had fallen down the chimney, but when we opened the doors, there had been nothing. Now however, when Jon tentatively opened them again we saw the feathery remains of what was once a jackdaw, that must have spent the last hours of it’s life trapped in the sooty space. Poor little thing.

From what we could see, there were no maggots or flies on it now (happily they must have already hatched and flown the host!) and neither of us could quite work ourselves up to getting rid of it this late, so it was left for the time being. I am seriously hoping for no more shocking discoveries. I can’t take any more!